While it may not be so in all languages, in English, forgive has the word “give” in it. So I ask myself, what does forgiveness “give” people?

I heard a story once, as told by the late Chief Blue of the Catawba Indian nation:

One day my eleven-year-old son went squirrel hunting with six other Indians. He saw a squirrel run up a tree and climbed up to scare it out on a limb. After he had done this he called to the others to hold their fire until he could get down. One of the Indians in the hunting party had always been jealous of me and my position as chief. He and his son both shot deliberately at my boy. He was filled with buckshot from his knees to his head. The Indians carried my boy towards home and found a spot where they lay him while they ran for the doctor.

A friend came and found me and said, “Sam, run home at once; your boy has been shot.” I ran all the way home and found my boy near death. The doctor was there and said my boy would not live. He was right; the boy died in a few minutes.

The man and son who had done the shooting were in my front yard visiting with members of the crowd that had gathered. They did not appear to be upset at their deed. My heart filled with revenge and hatred. Something seemed to whisper to me, “If you don’t take down your gun and kill that man who murdered your son, Sam Blue, you are a coward.”

Now I have been a Mormon ever since I have been a young lad and I knew it would not be right to take revenge. I decided to pray to the Lord about it. I walked to my secret place out in the timber where I always have gone to pray alone when I have a special problem, and there I prayed to the Lord to take revenge out of my heart. I soon felt better and started back to the house. But again I heard something inside whisper, again I turned back and prayed until I felt better. On my way back to the house I again heard the voice say, “Sam Blue, you are a coward.” I turned again and went back to pray and this time I told the Lord he must help me or I would be a killer. I asked him to take revenge out of my heart and keep it out. I felt good when I got up from praying. I went back to the house a third time and when I reached the house I went out and shook hands with the Indian who had killed my boy. There was no hatred or desire for revenge in my heart.

I’ve always been intrigued by this story. The chief’s persistence at obtaining ability to forgive has been a lesson for me countless times. I see three instances of giving in this example. First, Chief Blue gave himself the opportunity to have the strength to forgive his son’s murderers by praying. Second, after struggling within himself and calling to a higher power, Chief Blue was given the gift to be able to forgive those who wronged him from God. Third, he gave the man who killed his son forgiveness.

Even unrepentant, the guilty were forgiven. By giving the gift of forgiveness, the chief gave himself the gift of love and peace. He was healed by One who has the capacity to give us the power to overcome such burdens.

The reason I love this story is that it shows that a human man, with God’s help, can forgive those who wronged him – even unrepentant as they were.

There may be people on our lives who have hurt us, intentionally or unintentionally. Some may have repented and feel bad. Some may not care at all. But we have access to the One who can heal all wounds. We read of His miracles to cure those physically afflicted, and they are amazing and wondrous. But the real miracle is the emotional and spiritual healing that the Son of God as the capacity and willingness to do.

We just need to ask. Then give by forgiving.

Update: My father gave me even more insight on the word forgive. We looked at it as two words Fore Give. We wondered if the true meaning of forgiving was to give it to the individual who wronged us, even before they have any remorse.

I’ll borrow a line from Kung-Fu Panda. “There are no accidents.”

I normally don’t quote scripture here as this blog isn’t a deep doctrinal study of the Master but a practical look at Christian applications. But I have to share this.

Within 3 days, a specific passage of scripture was brought to my attention in instances independent of each other.

For I was an  hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. – Matthew 25: 35-40

What it all comes to is how we treat ourselves & each other. That’s it. That’s why we have all the commandments. For some reason we as people have to have thousands of pages of scripture to teach us that, but we still don’t get it. We make it too complicated or we let sin disrupt it.

Giving. Receiving with Gratitude. Passing it on. That is what practical Christianity is. And when we make mistakes, we have someone who can Heal us.

I am a bachelor for the week as my family has taken a trip while I try to keep the cash flow coming. So I did the bachelor thing and went out to the store to get a pack of hotdogs.

On the way I saw a group of kids on a corner all doing fist pumps to get people to honk. I not only gave them one honk, I honked many times in various rhythms.  Some of the kids jumped with excitement, the girls waved, one kid gave me a thumbs up. There were smiles all around.

What would I have missed had I ignored them and just continued on? What did I give? What did I receive?

Take a moment today to find some nice paper and hand write a letter to someone and thank them for something they did for you.

Giving can only take place when there is someone on the receiving end. The giving is more powerful when it is received with gratitude. I have noticed that if someone thanks me sincerely for something, I am motivated to be a better giver. By showing your gratitude for even small things, you show your love.

You may find that as you make this a habit, you become more aware of what people do for you. You’re appreciation for them will increase, you will want to give more yourself. This way both the giver and receiver both progress in love and service. It’s the perfect win/win.

While I was driving about, I saw a man who was crossing the street. When he reached the curb he saw there was an empty soda cup in the gutter.

In one swift movement he picked it up and went his way, no garbage can immediately in sight.

His act was simple, but it was not earth shattering.  I would like to think this display of giving, by taking care of his surroundings, is a hint of this gentleman’s attitude in general. I don’t know this man, and may never see him again, but I know somewhere he is giving something.

How is it that our simple acts direct our overall attitude?

Many times, we associate giving with things that bring an immediate reaction of joy and gratitude.

It is much harder to give those things that will bring lasting joy and satisfaction in the long run, but immediately aren’t welcome.

I am speaking of those things we give our children, such as discipline, work ethic, knowledge, etc. In short, direction.

I took piano lessons for many years growing up. My parents sacrificed quite a bit to pay my teachers. The teacher that would really shape my love of music and develop my technique was not cheap. I did like the piano. I liked playing, but as any young boy feels, I didn’t like to practice all the time.

Had it not been for my mother who hounded me day after day, got on my case when I didn’t practice, drove me to lessons each week, and insisted I play the proper amount of time – I would not be the pianist I am today.

My mother gave me a gift -  A gift I wouldn’t fully appreciate until my adulthood. She was the driving force to developing my talent, and now I have joy in playing and am in a position to give with that talent.

This type of giving is harder to do. This isn’t a one time afternoon of chalk drawing on the sidewalk or blowing bubbles in the wind. This type of giving takes a consistent effort day after day. It is not always welcomed and sometimes it is opposed. It takes patience and determination, but in the end is a very powerful gift.

Our children need both kinds of giving. The immediate fun and joy, the memory builders AND the consistent direction and teaching that will mold them into great men and women who have talents to share.

There are times where my children moan about reading scriptures or weeding the yard. They complain when put in “time out” as we are teaching them discipline. They whine about homework, chores and other assignments. We will probably not see gratitude for these gifts immediately.  But someday when they are useful members of society who love and serve others and the Lord, we’ll know the Giving we did was worth it.

I was reading in an entrepreneurial magazine last night about a woman competing with her husband’s BlackBerry. She explained about how this device went everywhere with them; Soccer games, Restaurants, Exercising, Vacation..etc.

I began thinking about things in my life that hinder my ability to give full attention to the tasks I am doing. As I went to sleep I thought about it deeply. I resolved to “clean house” of those things.

Today I began the process. On my computer I had several programs that would flash the latest updates on news, facebook status, twitter updates and such. I disengaged those programs. I will visit those sites when I feel that I can devote time to it, but I won’t let it interrupt my work, conversations or projects.

I also have resolved to close my email program from 5:30 pm to 9:00 pm every night. This will allow me to give full attention to my children and my wife.

I have resolved that before I open my email program in the morning that I will plan the day, as I know it, before emails can distract me from the overall plan. Once I have my plan in place I will then see how the latest emails will affect that plan and adjust accordingly.

I am considering unplugging the the land line phone and turning off cell phones during dinner time for at least a half hour.

This is a new step for me as I have realized how intrusive some technologies are. Some have diluted my ability to give full attention.

What are some things that distract you? What prevents you from giving full attention to a person, a task or leaning moment? What things can you eliminate or schedule better?

How does this idea improve one’s ability to give?

Once again, this assignment has to do with a movie.

Movie: Piglet’s BIG Movie

I found this movie delightful and an underlying message about the good someone can do, even if they are small or seem insignificant.

Things to look for:

How do small things make a big difference?

Even if your giving goes unnoticed, is it still effective?

How does time and perspective help people see events?

Many times we think that giving means that we take something of material value and pass it on to someone else. Examples would include gifts, money, items, food etc. There are times when each of those things can make a world of difference, but more often it is the intangible that we give that makes lasting changes and impressions.

We live in days that are difficult. Many of us are trying to figure out how we are going to make it in the coming months. Stress builds – we feel the load. We wonder about how we are going to buy tires and pay for the registration of the car. When we walk that road it is very easy to withdraw and to focus inward.

I played Junior Monopoly with my son tonight. He skunked me. He thought is was very funny. While Monopoly is not my favorite game, my son really enjoyed the time I took to play the game with him. Earlier I wrestled with my two other sons on the carpet, and handed out some jelly beans to all 4 kids. I could have done better with giving my wife some time as well. Best remedy that tomorrow.

The point is, 10 years from now I might remember the daily struggle of just “making it” but the relationships I create by giving time will mean infinitely more.

I needed that time today and they needed it too. The days where little hands pat my face will be over way too soon.

Here is a nifty little image that I created. What do you think it represents?

Each line reprensents a path of someone’s life on any particular day, but the emphasis here isn’t the path itself. I want to focus on where each of these paths cross. The points of intersection represent where each of these people interact.

These points are a great opportunity. What difference can you make? Some of these paths cross several times, others only once to never be crossed again, but does that really matter? The length and frequency are irrelevant for this excercise.

The paths you cross throughout the day are a chance to give, to bless, to uplift, to share. I have found that the things that matter most are the relationships we create.

Each path that we cross we should leave better. Most often this is through small means, by putting in just a little effort. That path you cross may be altered in positive ways.