by keb

I have had a rough few days. Just as I feel I have made strides in the condition of my heart, I am shown how very far I need to go. Sometimes I feel so frustrated about how easily the balance is upset. I do or say things that hurt others. Even as I desire to truly be a Christian in word and indeed, I fall short.

Yesterday, after an evening at dinner with the family, which was expensive – and I had an 18 months old screeching very loudly the whole time, we were driving home when the car in the right lane slowed to turned into a gas station. I was in the left lane. Suddenly, a white car cuts across the right lane into my lane. I had to serve into the turning lane and barley missed slamming into the car. I laid on the horn heavily – and too long. I didn’t use it as a “watch out!” – I used it as a “What the heck do you think you are doing!” Oh I was mad!

This teenage girl didn’t do this on purpose, she made a mistake but luckily no one was injured. I’ve made traffic mistakes too. It is very embarrassing, and once it is over, there is not much to do about it. How easy it is to see one point of view – and totally disregard the other. I failed yesterday.

I failed again today. I was involved with a fall in my garage that involved my brand new computer, my car, and a bike. Children were involved in it. Again I was mad. I chastised. The bike was parked too close, or someone wasn’t paying attention.  Again, a raised voice.

I didn’t get a chance to apologize to the girl in the white car. But I did go and apologize to my son and daughter. The fall really was an accident – and probably a learning experience for my benefit. No one was to blame, even though I thought so at the time.

The important thing to remember is that even when you’ve said things in anger – you can give someone the benefit of an apology. It takes overcoming personal pride. It is easy to blame others, to somehow think that those mishaps are geared just to make you upset. This is folly.

So even though I’ve not done so well so far this week – I have a chance to make it better tomorrow. This is one of the many reasons why it is wonderful to have a Savior. He allows me to learn from my mistakes, to have the ability to correct them and to move forward. For this I am grateful.